Trying

So you know how you want to be and where you want to go. So why does it seem so difficult and frustrating? I want to be a helper and support. I want to have the relaxing clean house, the happy kids, the yummy meals cooked, laundry folded all the domestic things I love. Yes I love it, sure i get wiped out sometimes but nothing makes me feel better than a clean house. hMMM ok maybe not nothing :). I also want to be totally hot and slutty for my HOH in the bedroom as well. So why is the more slutty I become the less sex we seem to have? It’s frustrating and feels hurtful. Yet im trying to put my feelings in the back. Shake off the insecurities and work on not reacting and just continuing to have a meek pleasant spirit. its hard when your head fills with doubt and questions. Like last night I was sad, felt hurt not even a snuggle , no play at all. I even said we could hang out not go right in the bedroom, nothing. Sure things are on her mind. It’s hard to not think its the weight, its getting boring etc.. I went off to bed and cried a little then decided not to harbor the feelings and just move on. So here I am just moving on! It’s hard to be a slut who can’t have any, but at least my house in clean! Know for the laundry. Might be horny but for know I can still stay busy. Some days are hard but im trying to work on gaining my control while accepting my role as being controlled. Off to the laundry!! 🙂

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About subinbliss

A happily submissive wife to the most amazing women and loving mommy to three amazing kids.
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